this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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