is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You may now shotgun with the bride
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
