Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
