y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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