If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize