where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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