Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize