Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
