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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  dude why did you let me call her?!

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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• (310): View more from California

  how was it?

  (1-310): View more from California

  he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

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• (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out

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• (488): View more from

  Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy

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• (559): View more from California

  You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  enjoying your night?

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  do dogs like to salsa?

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I dont know if that answers my question or not

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.

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