There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
