They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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