One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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