just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
