I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
