ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
