i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
