Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
