his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
