I bet he comes in French.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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