This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
