It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
