You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
