she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
