***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
