we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
