the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
