Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
