Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
