the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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