We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
