well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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