I puked a lego.
where am i from again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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