My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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