it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
