Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize