I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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