I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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