yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
