i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
