I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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