Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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