The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
