halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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