just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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