Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
