Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
