Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
