Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
