i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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