FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
