I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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