I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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