You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
