After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
