went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
