Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
