i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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