Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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