Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's blow job season.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize