"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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