I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just want nice things and good sex
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
