Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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