i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Come see our sink grown plant.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
