He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
